As I sat with my arms and shoulders aching from learning to carry a little one again, my body racked with fatigue, nearly every part of me painful in some way, I looked down at my newborn son, helpless in every way, and realized for the first time that from an evolutionary standpoint, babies don't make sense.
For the first several months of an infant's life it depends on it's mother for every need. A mother, that herself is likely more vulnerable and helpless than she has been since her own infancy.
If evolution is about survival of the fittest, this doesn't make sense.
But evolution didn't design mothers and babies. God did. While I was contemplating along those lines, it occurred to me that babies, the universe, and everything in it work the way they do, not because God knew it was the best way, but because God decided it was the best way.
I knew at the time how that would sound to someone who was hurting. But, I couldn't get away from it. Now that I have experienced a measure of my own hurt, I know it even more keenly. And it's still true.
When we say that God knows what's best, we say, whether we mean to or not, that there are natural laws that exist independent of God, that God Himself is subject to. The truth is that, God wrote the the laws of nature. He is the laws of nature.
God doesn't just know what's best, He decides what's best.
This is sometimes hard to accept.
It was two weeks ago now, that I sat huddled in a chair, in a very cold hospital room, under as many blankets as I could get my hands on, telling God that His plans for my family weren't making any sense. Somewhere along the way, somebody, must have got their wires crossed. This couldn't be right. It couldn't be what God had planned. Because, surely God's plans would make sense, right?
Maybe. Maybe not. God doesn't think the way we do.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. (Isaiah
Because God doesn't think the way we do, His plans don't always make sense to us. And that's OK.
We don't have to know what He's doing. We're not called to understand. We're called to trust.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5 KJV)
God wants us to trust Him, to depend on Him daily, for every need. He wants us to be receptive to the work He wants to do in us, and to trust that He knows the end He wants to reach, and has already decided on the best path to get there.
He knows how He wants to form us. It's up to us to trust His touch, and follow His guiding hand. Even when He doesn't make sense.